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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Slip
Slips
Motherhood
Psychological
Mother
Mean
Thing
Freudian
Psychiatrist

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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
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Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
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Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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