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Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Courses
Course
Lying
Golfing
Golfers
Golf
Sun
Fun

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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
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Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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I have too much money invested in sweaters.
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Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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