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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
President
Palms
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Springs
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Golf
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Spring
Palm
Courses
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Ford

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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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