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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Mistake
Waiting
Thought
Way
Persian
Gulf
Golf
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More quotes by Bob Hope

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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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Your ignorance cramps my conversation
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
Bob Hope
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You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
Bob Hope
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
Bob Hope
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
Bob Hope
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
Bob Hope