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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Instead
Went
Golfing
Age
Shoot
Play
Shot
Shots
Golf
Tried
Weight

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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.
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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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