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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Shots
Golf
Tried
Weight
Instead
Went
Golfing
Age
Shoot
Play
Shot

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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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