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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Golf
Tried
Weight
Instead
Went
Golfing
Age
Shoot
Play
Shot
Shots

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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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There's a very apt saying in show business: If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick.
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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
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