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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Golf
Tried
Weight
Instead
Went
Golfing
Age
Shoot
Play
Shot
Shots

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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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