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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Cancelled
Type
Blood
Age

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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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It gave dirty politics a bad name.
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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