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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Handicap
Handicaps
Roman
Golf
Playing
Game
Games
Long
Numerals

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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
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I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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