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Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.
Bob Hope
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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Jokes
Pay
Sideline
Tell
Greens
Real
Sidelines
Fees
Profession
Entertainment
Golf
More quotes by Bob Hope
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
Bob Hope
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
Bob Hope
I don't know what people have against government they haven't done anything.
Bob Hope
If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
Bob Hope
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
Bob Hope
I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
Bob Hope
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
Bob Hope
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
Bob Hope
Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
Bob Hope
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
Bob Hope
I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
Bob Hope
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Bob Hope
We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
Bob Hope
I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
Bob Hope
You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.
Bob Hope
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
Bob Hope
The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
Bob Hope
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'
Bob Hope
I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
Bob Hope
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
Bob Hope
