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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Asked
Actor
Parents
Benny
Comedy
Orphanage
Parent
Jack
Actors
Shot
Something
Shots
Moved

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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status. Here are some celebrity quotes about Christmas. You will find that just like everybody else, celebrities also enjoy the little pleasures of Christmas.
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.
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Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.
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I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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