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If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Eggs
Lays
Comedy
Funny
America
Country

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The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself -- the Bank of America.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one.
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With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.
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Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
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If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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