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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Prove
Commerce
Lending
Humor
Finance
Lend
Funny
Bank
Pennies
Business
Budgets
Hilarious
Money
Witty
Bankers
Place
Humorous
Sarcasm
Need
Credit
Banking
Needs
Financial
Sarcastic

More quotes by Bob Hope

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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
Bob Hope
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.
Bob Hope
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
Bob Hope
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.
Bob Hope
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I can still chase women, only downhill
Bob Hope
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
Bob Hope