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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Bob Hope

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Bob Hope
Age: 100 †
Born: 1903
Born: May 29
Died: 2003
Died: July 27
Actor
Boxer
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Leslie Townes Hope
Leslie Hope
Lester Hope
Packy East
Prove
Commerce
Lending
Humor
Finance
Lend
Funny
Bank
Pennies
Business
Budgets
Hilarious
Money
Witty
Bankers
Place
Humorous
Sarcasm
Need
Credit
Banking
Needs
Financial
Sarcastic

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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark!
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me.
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I can still chase women, only downhill
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live.
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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.
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Television. That's where movies go when they die.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.
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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
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