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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Cried
Laughed
Bear
Mets
Bears
Wanted
Threesome
Bipolar

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
Bo Burnham
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
Bo Burnham
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
Bo Burnham
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
Bo Burnham
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
Bo Burnham
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
Bo Burnham
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
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I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
Bo Burnham
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I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
Bo Burnham
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
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People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
Bo Burnham
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
Bo Burnham
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
Bo Burnham
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
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I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
Bo Burnham
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
Bo Burnham