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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Numbers
Head
Women
Like
Squaring
Thirteen

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
Bo Burnham
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What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
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I don't like calling myself a feminist only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.
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I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
Bo Burnham
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
Bo Burnham
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
Bo Burnham