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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Like
Squaring
Thirteen
Numbers
Head
Women

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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
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Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
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I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
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