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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Funny
Couches
Always
Uncles
Pregnant
Girlfriend
Pull
Comic
Slouch
Humor
Sterile
Stand
Couch

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
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I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
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I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
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Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
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I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
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I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
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Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
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I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.
Bo Burnham
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham