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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Always
Uncles
Pregnant
Girlfriend
Pull
Comic
Slouch
Humor
Sterile
Stand
Couch
Funny
Couches

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
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I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
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In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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I'm interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they're scary, and they're important to think about. I'm also wary about the fact that if you don't proceed with caution and understand what you're doing, you understand these things are realities that you're dealing with, they're real things.
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Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
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I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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