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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Always
Uncles
Pregnant
Girlfriend
Pull
Comic
Slouch
Humor
Sterile
Stand
Couch
Funny
Couches

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
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I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.
Bo Burnham
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I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
Bo Burnham
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
Bo Burnham
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
Bo Burnham
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
Bo Burnham
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
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I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
Bo Burnham
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
Bo Burnham
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
Bo Burnham
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I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
Bo Burnham
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I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
Bo Burnham
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Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Bo Burnham
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it's totally not, which is why I'm trying to get away from it because it's just easy and automatic.
Bo Burnham
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Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
Bo Burnham