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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Funny
Cath
Lick
Catholics
Dirty
Damn
Balls
Catholic
Humor

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.
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When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
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Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
Bo Burnham
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers? Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!
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I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham