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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Catholic
Humor
Funny
Cath
Lick
Catholics
Dirty
Damn
Balls

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
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Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
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I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
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I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
Bo Burnham
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham