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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Men
Twenties
Time
Gay
Chosen
Spends
Ten
Random
Percent
Odds
Humor
Knees
Free
Twenty
Funny
Chinese

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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
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Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers? Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
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I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it's totally not, which is why I'm trying to get away from it because it's just easy and automatic.
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
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What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
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Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
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