Quote

And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.

Bo Burnham

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Ten
Random
Percent
Odds
Humor
Knees
Free
Twenty
Funny
Chinese
Men
Twenties
Time
Gay
Chosen
Spends

More quotes by Bo Burnham

Image
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
Bo Burnham
Image
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
Image
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
Image
Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
Bo Burnham
Image
What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
Bo Burnham
Image
When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
Bo Burnham
Image
My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
Bo Burnham
Image
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham
Image
I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
Image
I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
Bo Burnham
Image
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
Bo Burnham
Image
Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham
Image
I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
Bo Burnham
Image
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham
Image
I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
Bo Burnham
Image
If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
Bo Burnham
Image
Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
Bo Burnham
Image
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
Image
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
Bo Burnham
Image
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
Bo Burnham