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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Humor
Knees
Free
Twenty
Chinese
Funny
Twenties
Men
Gay
Time
Chosen
Spends
Ten
Random
Percent
Odds

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
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Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers? Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
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In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
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I'm interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they're scary, and they're important to think about. I'm also wary about the fact that if you don't proceed with caution and understand what you're doing, you understand these things are realities that you're dealing with, they're real things.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
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I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
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