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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Funny
Donkey
Giant
Giants
Stable
Ass
Humor

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
Bo Burnham
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
Bo Burnham
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The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
Bo Burnham
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People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
Bo Burnham
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I'm interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they're scary, and they're important to think about. I'm also wary about the fact that if you don't proceed with caution and understand what you're doing, you understand these things are realities that you're dealing with, they're real things.
Bo Burnham
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
Bo Burnham
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I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
Bo Burnham
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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
Bo Burnham
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
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I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
Bo Burnham
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
Bo Burnham
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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
Bo Burnham
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
Bo Burnham
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What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
Bo Burnham
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In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
Bo Burnham
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
Bo Burnham
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.
Bo Burnham