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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Donkey
Giant
Giants
Stable
Ass
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
Bo Burnham
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
Bo Burnham
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
Bo Burnham
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.
Bo Burnham
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
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Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
Bo Burnham
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.
Bo Burnham
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
Bo Burnham
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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
Bo Burnham
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
Bo Burnham
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
Bo Burnham
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
Bo Burnham
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
Bo Burnham
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
Bo Burnham
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
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In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
Bo Burnham
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My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys.
Bo Burnham
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Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Bo Burnham