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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Like
Toes
Count
Fingers
Humor
Funny
Easy
Women

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
Bo Burnham
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When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
Bo Burnham
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
Bo Burnham
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.
Bo Burnham
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
Bo Burnham
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham
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Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
Bo Burnham
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
Bo Burnham
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
Bo Burnham
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
Bo Burnham
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The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
Bo Burnham
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
Bo Burnham
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I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
Bo Burnham
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
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What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
Bo Burnham
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I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
Bo Burnham