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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Toes
Count
Fingers
Humor
Funny
Easy
Women
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More quotes by Bo Burnham

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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
Bo Burnham
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
Bo Burnham
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
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I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
Bo Burnham
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
Bo Burnham
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
Bo Burnham
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
Bo Burnham
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.
Bo Burnham
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
Bo Burnham
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
Bo Burnham
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I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.
Bo Burnham
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
Bo Burnham
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
Bo Burnham
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
Bo Burnham
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
Bo Burnham