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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Toes
Count
Fingers
Humor
Funny
Easy
Women
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More quotes by Bo Burnham

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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
Bo Burnham
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
Bo Burnham
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham
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In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
Bo Burnham
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
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I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
Bo Burnham
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
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I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.
Bo Burnham
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
Bo Burnham
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What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
Bo Burnham
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Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
Bo Burnham
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I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
Bo Burnham
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham