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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Friends
Family
Anything
Need
Needs
Pussy
Long
Unlimited
Dollars
Millions

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
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Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
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I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
Bo Burnham
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What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
Bo Burnham
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.
Bo Burnham
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
Bo Burnham
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
Bo Burnham
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I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
Bo Burnham
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
Bo Burnham
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
Bo Burnham
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People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
Bo Burnham
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
Bo Burnham
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I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro! I don't know if that's the answer for me. Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one? I don't worship comedy at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
Bo Burnham
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
Bo Burnham