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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
Bo Burnham
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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Fact
Natural
Facts
People
Surprises
Expecting
Tension
Surprise
Comedy
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
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Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
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When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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I'm interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they're scary, and they're important to think about. I'm also wary about the fact that if you don't proceed with caution and understand what you're doing, you understand these things are realities that you're dealing with, they're real things.
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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