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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Anything
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Men
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Comedians
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
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I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
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Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
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I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
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Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
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Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
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In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
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What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
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