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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Masturbate
Lows
Standards
Whose
Cause
Causes
Enough
More quotes by Bo Burnham
I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
Bo Burnham
I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.
Bo Burnham
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.
Bo Burnham
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
Bo Burnham
Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Bo Burnham
I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham
What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Bo Burnham
If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
Bo Burnham
My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.
Bo Burnham
Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
Bo Burnham
I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
Bo Burnham
Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
Bo Burnham
Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
Bo Burnham
What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
Bo Burnham
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
Bo Burnham
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
Bo Burnham
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
Bo Burnham
I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
Bo Burnham
