Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Cause
Causes
Enough
Masturbate
Lows
Standards
Whose
More quotes by Bo Burnham
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
Bo Burnham
I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham
Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
Bo Burnham
I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
Bo Burnham
I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
Bo Burnham
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.
Bo Burnham
Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Bo Burnham
Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
Bo Burnham
Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham
My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys.
Bo Burnham
I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
Bo Burnham
I'm interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they're scary, and they're important to think about. I'm also wary about the fact that if you don't proceed with caution and understand what you're doing, you understand these things are realities that you're dealing with, they're real things.
Bo Burnham
I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
Bo Burnham
I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
Bo Burnham
Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
Bo Burnham
My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It's much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
Bo Burnham
Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers? Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!
Bo Burnham
I'd really love to make something that doesn't involve my stupid face.
Bo Burnham
I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro! I don't know if that's the answer for me. Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one? I don't worship comedy at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
Bo Burnham
