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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.
Bo Burnham
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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
High
Actually
Funny
Lost
School
Wrestled
Virginity
Match
Humor
More quotes by Bo Burnham
I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
Bo Burnham
I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
Bo Burnham
Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
Bo Burnham
I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
Bo Burnham
Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
Bo Burnham
Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham
Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
Bo Burnham
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
Bo Burnham
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
Bo Burnham
If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
Bo Burnham
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham
I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
Bo Burnham
Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
Bo Burnham
Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
Bo Burnham
