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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Balls
Six
Humor
Funny
Two
Minus
Tour
Titles
France

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro! I don't know if that's the answer for me. Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one? I don't worship comedy at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
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Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
Bo Burnham