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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Tour
Titles
France
Balls
Six
Humor
Funny
Two
Minus

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
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My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys.
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
Bo Burnham
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
Bo Burnham
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.
Bo Burnham
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
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I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.
Bo Burnham
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I don't like calling myself a feminist only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.
Bo Burnham
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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
Bo Burnham
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham
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Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
Bo Burnham
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
Bo Burnham