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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
Bo Burnham
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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Listening
Audience
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Ideas
More quotes by Bo Burnham
The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
Bo Burnham
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
Bo Burnham
Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
Bo Burnham
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
Bo Burnham
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.
Bo Burnham
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham
I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
Bo Burnham
I don't like calling myself a feminist only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.
Bo Burnham
Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
Bo Burnham
Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
Bo Burnham
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
Bo Burnham
I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
Bo Burnham
Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Bo Burnham
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
Bo Burnham
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
Bo Burnham
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
Bo Burnham