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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
Bo Burnham
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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
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More quotes by Bo Burnham
Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
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I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that's a lovely addition.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
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I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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