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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
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Tubes
More quotes by Bo Burnham
I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
Bo Burnham
If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
Bo Burnham
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
Bo Burnham
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
Bo Burnham
I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
Bo Burnham
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
Bo Burnham
I don't want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I'm just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
Bo Burnham
Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
Bo Burnham
Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
Bo Burnham
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
Bo Burnham
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
Bo Burnham
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
Bo Burnham
I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
Bo Burnham
For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
Bo Burnham