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The average person has one Fallopian tube.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Tube
Tubes
Average
Persons
Person

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
Bo Burnham
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In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
Bo Burnham
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
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Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
Bo Burnham
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
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I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
Bo Burnham
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Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
Bo Burnham
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
Bo Burnham
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
Bo Burnham
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
Bo Burnham
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
Bo Burnham
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
Bo Burnham
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
Bo Burnham
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Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
Bo Burnham
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I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
Bo Burnham
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
Bo Burnham
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.
Bo Burnham
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
Bo Burnham
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Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.
Bo Burnham