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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Walk
Walks
Land
Water
Jesus
Swim

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, 'Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!' My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
Bo Burnham
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it's totally not, which is why I'm trying to get away from it because it's just easy and automatic.
Bo Burnham
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
Bo Burnham
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
Bo Burnham
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When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
Bo Burnham
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Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Bo Burnham
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
Bo Burnham
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham
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I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to.
Bo Burnham
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
Bo Burnham
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Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
Bo Burnham
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I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
Bo Burnham
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.
Bo Burnham
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
Bo Burnham
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I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.
Bo Burnham
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I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
Bo Burnham
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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
Bo Burnham
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Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham