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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
Bo Burnham
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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Guy
Funny
Stills
Dime
Change
Dimes
Still
Homeless
Every
Asked
Time
Humor
Comedy
More quotes by Bo Burnham
What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Bo Burnham
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
Bo Burnham
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
Bo Burnham
Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.
Bo Burnham
I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.
Bo Burnham
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
Bo Burnham
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
I've been doin' drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
Bo Burnham
For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.
Bo Burnham
I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I've enjoyed watching.
Bo Burnham
I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
Bo Burnham
I don't like calling myself a feminist only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.
Bo Burnham
Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.
Bo Burnham
Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
Bo Burnham
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham
Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.
Bo Burnham
Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers? Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!
Bo Burnham
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Bo Burnham
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham
