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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
Bo Burnham
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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Short
Giraffe
Deer
Neck
Necks
Saws
More quotes by Bo Burnham
What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Bo Burnham
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Bo Burnham
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
Bo Burnham
I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
Bo Burnham
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.
Bo Burnham
Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
Bo Burnham
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
Bo Burnham
When things [writing] are over, I always think, 'well, I'm never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I'm going to go be a farmer'. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won't happen.
Bo Burnham
I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
Bo Burnham
I've found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think.
Bo Burnham
I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.
Bo Burnham
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
Bo Burnham
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
Bo Burnham
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
Bo Burnham
I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
Bo Burnham
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
I don't like calling myself a feminist only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.
Bo Burnham
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
Bo Burnham
Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
Bo Burnham
I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro! I don't know if that's the answer for me. Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one? I don't worship comedy at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
Bo Burnham
