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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.

Bo Burnham

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Bo Burnham
Age: 34
Born: 1990
Born: August 21
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Musician
Pianist
Poet
Rapper
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Television Actor
Hamilton
Massachusetts
Robert Pickering Bo Burnham
Robert Pickering Burnham
Eight
Worked
Dreams
College
Went
Hours
Dream
Never

More quotes by Bo Burnham

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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
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I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro! I don't know if that's the answer for me. Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one? I don't worship comedy at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know Bo's a feminist.
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I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don't have a great ear. It's like a tragedy - I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don't smoke... tumors.
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Do you guys like impressions? Why? That was Socrates.
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it's totally not, which is why I'm trying to get away from it because it's just easy and automatic.
Bo Burnham
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I'm OK, but that's about it. I like to think I'm good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
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I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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I don't need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
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When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.
Bo Burnham