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I'm a sucker for a free tuxedo.

Billy Crystal

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Billy Crystal
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: March 14
Actor
Baseball Player
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Presenter
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
New York City
New York
William Edward Crystal
Tuxedo
Tuxedos
Sucker
Free

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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.
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Since I was a kid, every Thanksgiving growing up in New York, we always watched 'The March of the Wooden Soldiers' by Laurel and Hardy. Never miss it.
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Despite what The Wall Street Journal says, our awards are the best-kept secret in America, with the possible exception of what George W. Bush did in the '70s.
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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I always came away thinking I'd like to see her more, you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought - Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to look, the best I'm ever going to feel, the best I'm ever going to do,' and it ain't that great?
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I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
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I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap.
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There's only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.
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I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years . . . and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.
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I always was a performer, from the time I was little. It was always a natural place for me to be.
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Great news! Hosting Oscars counts five hours toward my community service!
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.
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I didn't rebel as a child. I missed that angry teenager thing.
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For almost 40 years, he was the brightest star in the comedy galaxy... Their beautiful light will continue to shine on us forever. And the glow will be so bright, it'll warm your heart, it'll make your eyes glisten, and it'll make you think to yourselves: Robin Williams, what a concept.
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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I'd like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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