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I'm a sucker for a free tuxedo.

Billy Crystal

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Billy Crystal
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: March 14
Actor
Baseball Player
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Presenter
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
New York City
New York
William Edward Crystal
Tuxedo
Tuxedos
Sucker
Free

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Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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I always was a performer, from the time I was little. It was always a natural place for me to be.
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Dad had a music store, and he'd often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they're raising them. You can't push your way into areas where you shouldn't be saying anything. You have to always remember they're not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death - then hand them back.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.
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I didn't rebel as a child. I missed that angry teenager thing.
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Despite what The Wall Street Journal says, our awards are the best-kept secret in America, with the possible exception of what George W. Bush did in the '70s.
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It is better to look good than to feel good.
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There's only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap.
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I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.
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Gentlemen, start your egos!
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I think when I feel I'm at my best is when I'm on stage, and it's my version of jazz because it's just riffing or something.
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I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years . . . and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.
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Great news! Hosting Oscars counts five hours toward my community service!
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I'm going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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Every time I was with Sammy [Davis Jr.] it was like going to the show business museum because the stories were so extraordinary, and I didn't care if they were true or not after a while. ... I don't know if he really got high with Humphrey Bogart or not. It didn't matter because he was painting these fantastic pictures.
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