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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I'm going back, but I'm not. I'd rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
Billy Connolly
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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Going
Desperate
Love
Citizens
Think
Becoming
Thinking
Rather
World
Upon
People
Speak
Scotland
Back
Concentrate
Take
Citizen
More quotes by Billy Connolly
Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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