Quote

I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I'm going back, but I'm not. I'd rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
World
Upon
People
Speak
Scotland
Back
Concentrate
Take
Citizen
Going
Desperate
Love
Citizens
Think
Becoming
Thinking
Rather

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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
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Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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Outgrew the media... The negativity felt like a disease.
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Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.
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What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
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If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.
Billy Connolly