Quote

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 81
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Mean
Remain
Long
Okay
Something
Grow
Flabbergasted
Think
Wonder
Childlike
Thinking
Grows
Overrated
Age
Retain
Ability
Terribly
Means
Mature

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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
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I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
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I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
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I just believe in the movie. I don't care what the book was like. I don't care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I've got.
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If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
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When people say it's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. It's the best in the world, he said. What type is it?, I asked and he said ten past twelve.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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Never trust anybody with only one book.
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born nowhere! It's over!
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I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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