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I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

Billy Connolly

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Billy Connolly
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: November 24
Actor
Banjoist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Guitarist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Glasgow
Scotland
Sir William Connolly
Education
Viewed
High
Wanting
Found
Intellect
Thought
Scared
Always
Jokes
Welder
People
Case
Tertiary
Cases
Knew
Intellects

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I?m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: Hey ? I know you! You're That Guy..
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Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. Is this yours? she asked probably said Paddy she burns everything else
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.
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Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.
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A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn up.
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I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them. They're not huge, complicated events they're just magical wee moments when somebody says 'I love you' or 'You're a really good at what you do' or simply 'You're a good person'.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
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